I’m in a relationship and I have no idea how to do that so I asked the Internet how to say I love you and the best pieces of romantic advice they could offer me. Then I used it. Some went well and some went exactly as you’d expect really. I’ve been using these lines on him over the past few weeks and he has been unaware of what I’ve been doing.
Happy Valentine’s Day Jens. Please don’t sue me.
How do you say I love you?
“I’m in like with you.”
This was probably my favourite interaction with him because he replied almost instantly with, “I’m in lesbian with you” which is a reference to a film he never shuts up about. In fairness, it’s a damn good film.
“Cash me outside, how bow dah.”
He looked at me with a the sort of bored sadness only a significant other can manage before asking, politely I might add if I was finished yet.
The best way that the internet offered me was to raise my hand to my forehead, with my fingers in an ‘L’ shape. I did that and he returned the gesture, which I thought was nice. He then gently told me I was using the wrong hand.
“Be careful, Jens.”
“Of what? Of you?”
“Just be careful.”
“Is this for your blog?”
“What is wrong with you?”
“I don’t know, just be careful.”
“What is that from?”
“I don’t know.”
This one makes you both look like utter dicks so I don’t recommend it. This has led me to occasionally telling him to be careful, which still results in some confusion.
How do you show you care?
One piece of advice that was sweet was wait until he’s going somewhere and announce that it would be dangerous to go alone and put my arms around him and suggest that he should take this with him. His response? “You’re a bigger nerd than me.”Also I got roped into going to the shops when I didn’t actually have to. Only use this if you’re happy being taken, otherwise I do not recommend it.
Probably the best thing I was told when I asked the internet how to appreciate someone was really simple.
Happy Valentine’s day and please, be careful.