Two nerds try and find a game to play together without killing each other

Jens I'm sorry its for my blog its not a virus you can delete it now love you

I’ve posted about my boyfriend on here before but it was cute and Valentine’s Day so let me off the hook for that one. The long and short of the nightmare I have endured is that in August I am going to Canada for a year and I’m leaving Jens behind. Sad times. We talked about it a lot, the distance, how we’ll cope, but the most pressing issue for him was honestly not something I could have predicted. I feel most people who are met with, ‘So I know we’ve only been together a month but in a few months I’m off for a year’ wouldn’t stick around but he did. After a while he brought up what concerned him.


“What MMORPG are we going to play while you’re away?”


This is a moment in which I realized two things.

  • I have never loved anyone as much as I do right now.
  • You are going to be the death of me, you fucking nerd.


But he was totally right. If you’re going to be separated from your other half, you are damn well going to want to see them as a pixelated fictional character on your screen. And so the nightmare commenced. As excited as I was to delve into a game together, there were a few problems, We both pretended to be open minded about what we wanted to play but that was a cheap lie. I wanted Runescape, because I recently woke up from a drunk evening out to realize I had purchased around 3 years worth of membership after not playing for about 8 years which amused my friends, and some people who are not my friends, to no end. He wanted World of Warcraft, but feigned interest in Runescape just long enough to shut me up and then it was his turn.

I have been playing the offline version, World of Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos for as long as I can remember. It was the first game my dad bought for me, and he has since bought it for me twice because we kept losing it. I also had to install it four times recently because of a virus he kept installing onto our computer which wiped everything and I’m sure he did it on purpose but that’s not important. I think he knew what he was doing the third time but that’s just so irrelevant. Because of all this, Warcraft has quite a lot of sentimentality to me even though I’ve never played the ‘proper’ version.

It started off well, I created my first character and we were off, adventuring around together having a great time. Until we both realized I was actually, quite fucking useless. Anyway, we both started separate, secondary characters so I could learn how to convince myself jumping doesn’t make you run faster and how to correctly use my map. Flash forward about two weeks and I’ve succeeded in my aims and he’s a Level 90 Death Knight or something equally ridiculous while I’m stuck at Level 17, not sure how to get out of the starter zone.

Still, it’s nice that if I needed my boyfriend to fight someone for me (I’m 5’2 and I ain’t no hero) he could.

They’d just need to log in first.

You can add me on most places, BattleNet, Runescape, Steam, Facebook and the like with the handle @ParasolScout



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